ps : i heart you ♥

i really feel so bad. i've never felt so bad for what i did. when i heard it being said again, i feel my heart sank. then it gets better then when i think about it again i feel sad again.

i've never cared so much. cared till it became a problem of mine. even work is not keeping me away from it. eff man this feelings sucks.

everything will be different from the day it started. i know it is just that it is yet to be honestly told.

why does only problem like this always have to happen on me? always. without fail it will always come back and pay me a visit.

was i really such a terrible person to deserve this? was i not being good enough all the time that i have to pay such deed? for that one thing i said or did had to be such a big deal over the rest of the good stuff i've done or said?

it seriously made my heart sank into my stomach when i saw it.

sometimes i wonder who i can let all this things out. i used to have someone that stays up late with me coincidentally but yet still listens to all my rants and helps me out. well as i said i USED to.

now, i have nobody. i mean i have friends but to me none of them helps me at moments like this. its not that they dont want to its i just dont seem to give in to them. i feel alone at stages like this.

my late night buddy left. one of my listener left. one of my listener is so busy with her own things. another one of my daily listener just wont get what i am being upset about.