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  1. another new start?

    Friday, November 28, 2008

    i hope this will NEVER happen.

    had long chats with some friends this morning before i slept.

    the conversations made me realise some stuff. maybe i just couldnt let the feeling go. maybe i dont really really like him that much.

    i usually dont like to get help from anybody unless i really really need it. and someone made me realise i dont help people neither.

    maybe thats just me. but.. as he said if you want people to help you when you are down, first, you have to also help people.

    i guess i should take more notice into the problems of the people around me and try to do my best to help.

    it may not work, but at least i tried.

    went to bed around 5.30 a.m but i still couldnt sleep. so i had some time thinking. i guess i found out what i should really do.

    it may bring unpleasant future with youu, but it is going to help on how i feel now.

    i am tired and sick of being the person i am now. i need a change. a better change. to someone less emo.

    now that i am kind of sure of what to do, i am feeling better. alot better in fact.

    usually i will be gloomy and emo the whole day dont matter what or when. today seems to be alot better.

    i guess it takes time.

    went out to catch the movie Bolt 3D today with cherly and jia shen. after movie we came back already.

    wei ping dropped by to get one tree hill and gossip girl from me while i was still halfway asleep.
    i guess it was due to the late sleeps.

    now, all i need is a drive out by myself. but thats not going to happen anytime soon. i feel like roaming around the streets of KL at night.

    it feels better. at least it made me feel good.

    ciao people! i am off to watching series. The Gem of Life and Devil Beside You or maybe some movies.

    i watched Another Cinderella Story this morning before i slept. the show is not bad and the guy is not bad too. and the moves is quite good. (:

    see how laa. i am in a mood to let go everything by tonight.

    lots of love,

    music addiction : Selena - Dreaming of you

  2. the heart hurts.

    Thursday, November 27, 2008

    the tears that rolled is not enough to pay the feeling i am going through. i am feeling the pain in the inside.

    and the worse part is you never know what i am going through and how i am feeling. although i dont want you to know but somehow there is a part of me inside that wants to.

    woke up around 11.30 a.m because we were going out to digital mall around 12 something. but mana tau ferns only reached at 1 something.

    reached there and walked around to get cherly's modem and some computer games.

    then we went for lunch somewhere near paramount. that was also like 3 p.m already i think. then drove all the way back to cherly's place to get her modem done.

    but ferns tried and tried it still didnt work. and we gave up.

    cherly fetched me home cause she wanted to go out and buy duck rice. so went with her to taipan before she sent me back.

    came home and slept. i barely have enough sleeps these days.

    now, sitting in front of the tv watching the Gem of Life and blogging. it seems being rich is everything in the show.

    i've been in my darkest days these few days. hoping that i would really stand on my two feet again sometime soon.

    god knows what time i will sleep today. i am already feeling the rush of emoness in me. something is terribly wrong with me already.

    sher xoxo.

    music addiction : T.I - Whatever You Like

  3. words.

    Wednesday, November 26, 2008

    its 5.30 in the morning.
    and i cant sleep.

    how i wish that your images would leave my mind.

    i am soaked in tears just to fall asleep.
    till my eyes sore so i would feel sleepy.

    i am no longer who i thought i was.
    i am someone who cant find her real self.
    and i hate it.

    and confused.

  4. my buddy, my girlfriend, my listener.

    i could bearely sleep these days. i slept around 6 something 7 this morning. i cant help it. its taking over my mind.

    was awake around 10 because of the texts. was chatting halfway with cherly which is around 11 until i fell asleep. i guess it was a good thing that i could actually sleep.

    got up around 12 something.

    mum was sick so i had to fetch her out to the clinic. and i was suppose to go out with cherly to yam cha after i am home.

    came back and rested then cherly came. then i drove out to Oldtown for our yam cha session.

    i guess the advice i got to have a girl to girl talk was probably something good. i said stuff that i wouldnt say normally.

    it was better to open up than to keep inside.

    i've got to know more than what i had to. had quite a long talk with cherly. and had some good advices and gave some too.

    no doubt i did feel better.

    around 6 plus i fetched her back home. came home and lazed around until i got a phone call from tim asking me to go out makan.

    it seems that ferns was at his place so they came all the way from kk to taipan for dinner. ferns came to fetch and his honk is soooo funny laa..

    he had to do it more than once. but well.. its amusing. soo okla.

    was at station one for some catching up session. then jia shen dropped by, then enlin, then cherly and jo ann and her cousin.

    came home around 10 p.m.

    and now, i am doing nothing. i am bored and not feeling too well. my heart hurts.

    its not like the real pain kind of pain. its something that i cant even describe. and my mind is like in this total shutdown.

    everything seems so blank. and so numb.

    i dont know what i did just now was something right or wrong. i cant say no but when i say yes, its getting worse.

    i've never felt like this before. since when i cared so much about a person?

    i love you as a friend but not as someone that i like. you are driving me up the wall and making me go crazy soon.

    i care but yet i dont want to.

    with love,

    music addiction : Boys Like Girls - Thunder

  5. vulgar is the best expression.

    Tuesday, November 25, 2008

    i want it ALL to go away.
    just leave and dont say goodbye.

    i dont need it.
    i just need you to get your ass out of my life.
    i am being someone i dont know.

    i want the old me back.
    rather than being the one who is like that now.

    fuck it.
    and go away.

    i dont like to turn to people who doesnt care.
    because of that, i only keep it to myself.

    is it that hard to find somebody that i can share it with?
    is it that hard to find somebody to listen?

    apparently it is that hard.


    but they have better things to do
    than caring about it.

  6. where is the once happy me?

    woke up around 11.30 a.m today. it was because of the phone call from cherly. it seems that lunch was at 12 p.m.

    went out to parade around 12 something. settled down at Manhattan Fish Market. was with cherly, jia shen, wey liam, jo ann and her cousin.

    had the fried chunky mushroom because i was in need of saving the money in my wallet. there are more plans to come.

    had some fun times chit chatting amoung ourselves.

    after food we went to pyramid for a while. the initial plan was to go there and catch a movie but there isnt much show which is watchable.

    me, jia shen and cherly met up with mun hoe and sean at the cinema cause they were catching Madacasgar 2.

    sat down at A&W and had a short talk before their movie.

    they had to leave and so did we. there wasnt anything much to do in pyramid anyway. i am too bored of it.

    saw Michelle and Vincent. it is their first day working in TGI Fridays.

    went home and sleep. but didnt sleep for that long. was about to for go the plan to go to 16 padang with the boys for their basketball because i was too tired.

    since the smses already woke me up, might as well just go.

    jia shen came to fetch. all together he picked up about 6 of us. one in usj16 which is ms cherly gan. so near also dont want to walk to the field.

    sat there and watched the guys play. was there till about 7 plus where it was already quite dark.

    it was wise to go. at least it was better than dreaming about stuff i dont want to see nor pay attention on.

    had some laughter and some emo talks.

    its blardy reminded me of him. amd now i am reminded again. i hate you for being so much in my life.

    not that much but it is good enough to drive me up the wall. making me go nuts.

    there is a plan up to genting next thursday. lets just see how good this goes on. its no doubt that the weater is great and the environment too but the last trip i had was nightmare. i meant the experience.

    if its happening again, i am sooo not going to genting ever again.

    i still like staring out a windy window all by myself. its relieving and calm.

    why is it that i even bother? i tend to care so much about everything. one is youu another is problems that has nothing to do with me.

    i want you out of my life! please..

    sher xoxo.

    music addiction : Bethany Joy Galeotti - Feel This

  7. true love? bullshit.

    Monday, November 24, 2008

    currently watching Enchanted. :)

    i love the dress. i like the concept of where dreams will come true. but there is never such thing. well.. at least for now none happen in the word LOVE in my life.

    was out to Mines today.

    first the Palace Beach & Spa Hotel. then, Palace of The Golden Horses.

    was at Palace of The Golden Horses for a buffet lunch. i miss that hotel soo much. the things i had there was great.

    played a grand piano, stayed in a 3 floor suite, eating abalone and sitting water taxis.

    it wasnt cheap. if it wasnt a great relative that spend us two nights there i wouldnt have such memorable days.

    it is 5 digits per night in the grand suite.

    was out till about 5 plus. came home and slept so much. havent had alot of good night sleeps.

    every morning if it wasnt 4 am then 5 am only i'll go to bed. i have no idea what i am doing also. watching series and staring blankly to my laptop screen.

    sometimes some friends to keep me company till probably 3 am.

    i dont like midnights by myself. i cant help but to feel that rush of quiteness and alone-ness. one word emoness.

    i feel like going down to KLCC again on friday. they are having a per-sales for members and fragrances are cheap.

    things are cheaper.

    probably i'll get down by train myself. maybe.

    blardy hell.. i am emo already. what the hell is wrong with me these days? why is it i cant be who i was before? when will it be over?


    music addiction : Jon McLaughlin - So Close

  8. mesmerizing blue eyes.

    Sunday, November 23, 2008

    woke up pretty late today. maybe because i slept abit too late. woke up by cherly's call. which was around 12.15 p.m.

    went out to KLCC today with mum. i drove all the way down.

    the main point was to watch Quantum of Solace.

    i rate it a 6/10.

    suppose to be a 5 but its Daniel Craig so an extra point.

    the storyline kinda suck and i dont like the Bond girl. somehow Eva Green was alot better. compare with both of the Daniel Craig's 007 movies.

    Daniel Craig is still hot to me. he may be old but his eyes are gorgeous. and he looks damn blardy good in suits. tuxedos, bow ties and ties.

    bought another pair of heel from kickers. its actually cute and petite.

    walked around KLCC for like damn long and only reached home around 10 something. driving is kinda fun in downtown KL.

    i need new frangrances. i smelled soo many and there is a few that i like. can i have all? (:

    will be out to Mines tomorrow. i dont really like that place. its deserted and dead.

    but i love The Palace of The Golden Horses Hotel. i had the best experienced ever in that hotel. from abalone, playing a grand piano, staying in the most expensive suit with 3 whole floors to yourself, a personal boat ride.

    it was an awesome experience.

    i am trying so hard to be less emo. but nothing seems to work. if its not about this, then its about that.

    i should just go with the flow.

    much love,
    sher xoxo.

    music addiction : Pink - So What

  9. late night house visits.

    Saturday, November 22, 2008

    its 2.25 a.m. just came back from cherly's place.

    the plan was to go there and play cards and to kill time. only a few turned up. me, wey liam, adrian, sheng loong, sean, mun hoe and jia shen.

    adrian and wey liam came to fetch me and liam spend me ramlee. (: i insisted on paying back but he dont want. thanks liam!

    khai shien was suppose to make it but he was in kepong soo... he couldnt make it back on time. jo ann said it was too late and teck wei was in puchong.

    sean and mun hoe left earlier since they didnt play cards nor drink. and jia shen came wayyy later.

    the pictures.

    cho dai ti and liquor.

    the 'barry' statue and the nearly finish hennessy.

    we actually opened a new bottle. and drank that much. more like 4 people drinking only.

    cherly and her "barry" welcome statue thing.

    wey liam.

    he lost so he had to take one full pure shot.

    me thinking hard so that i wouldnt lose.

    kai kai half dead. (:

    liam and me.

    wanting to take this sunglassed picture since some time ago already.

    liam and adrian.

    liam and me again.

    candid of liam.

    liam, cherly and adrian.

    them again. look at that adrian acting cool punya face.

    the act cool pose.

    the proper one.

    not bad weih.. i am still surviving without any problem after god knows how many pure shots. first time that i actually had a proper drink.

    genting's vodka is not counted.

    couldnt go to bed yet. i dont want my mum to smell the alcohol.

    tomorrow will be out to KLCC with my mum. she needs to get a gift and i need to watch Quantum of Solace.

    eventhough people say it is not that good, i still want to watch. daniel craig. :D

    probably i'll watch gossip girl and one tree hill episode 11 first before i go to bed. which is maybe 5 in the morning.

    ciao people. (:


    music addiction : Beyonce - If I Were A Boy

  10. SAM Corroboree 08'

    Friday, November 21, 2008

    last night was our SAM Corroboree which is known to others as Prom~!

    for the first time i got ready for something till like that.

    cherly came to fetch me at 1 something p.m to fetch me over to jo ann's house because from there we will go to the hairdresser to get our hairs done.

    reached the place, its at ss19. showed the lasy the picture of the hairstyle i want to do and i was the first to get it done.

    the lady was real good. for me, she did it so quickly and i am satisfied. jo ann and cherly's also look so pretty.

    audrey came to join us later.

    then we went back to jo ann's house because the make up artist will be going over to jo ann's house to get our make up done.

    cherly was the first to get it while i was the second.

    both of us.

    while waiting for the rest to get their make up done.

    third was audrey.

    me and audrey.

    while waiting for jo ann to get hers done. (:

    hehehe. how could girls resist to take pictures laa.

    the boys was already at jo ann's living room around 6 i think. we were only done with our make up at like 7.30 p.m. or later but earlier than 8 p.m. la of course.

    credits to ferns who took it with en lin's camera.

    before leaving.

    we were so late i tell you. because the time printed on the ticket was 6 p.m but we were only at the hotel at 8 p.m.

    geng right?

    went there and found our table. (:

    oklaaa.. here are the pictures. too lazy to write so much.

    behind L-R : khai shien, brandon, audrey and me.
    in front L-R : ken, jia shen and wei ping.

    behind L-R : wei ping, me, ernest and audrey.
    in front L-R : teck wei and vincent.

    our S9 shot.

    another one.

    with Ms Christine. our beloved mentor.

    here comes some individual pictures with each and every friend.

    ferng lin and me.

    "hello shorty!" :D i know you wont mind laa ferns.

    me and jia shen.

    "my yeng friend." well.. he does look kinda good that night. just that the tie colour abit the off. but still nice. (:

    me and teck wei.

    "stupid chinese! i dont like you." :D okayy it was a wise choice to cut ur hair provided you had that clay or moving rubber thing. and you looked good.

    jo ann, jia shen and me.

    jia shen must have said something wrong about jo ann. (:

    okayy.. now the decent one.

    behind L-R : yao yun, me and cherly.
    in front L-R : jo ann, jia shen and teck wei.

    me, loong and jia shen.

    loong and jia shen.

    me and loong.

    he looked like some kind of dai lou man. as though like he is handling the whole dinner. and his girlfriend looked pretty. (:

    me, ernest, cherly and vincent.

    me and cherly.

    the best friends. now and always. :D

    yao yun and me.

    "omg girl you look so different." i barely could notice her. she came and stand with me, cherly and jia shen but it took us quite a while to notice that it was her.
    you looked pretty my dear. :D

    khai shien and me.

    at least he didnt wear batik. so.. its a good thing.

    me and Ms Christine.

    my beloved Maths teacher. i am soo gonna miss her. (: she had been a great mentor all along.

    me and wei ping.

    she looks cute with the blue tube dress and the curled hair. (:

    behind L-R : wei xiang and felix.
    in front L-R : audrey, me and wei ping.

    felix and khai shien.

    wei xiang and khai shien.

    me and felix.

    ahhh this fella is a joker laa. damn blur and damn funny. i am goona miss him tooo. dont know when he'll be going back to Sabah.

    and he damn yeng laa. wear jeans to a prom. damn funny~!

    vincent, felix and teck wei.

    me and vincent.

    this fella is another joker. i am gonna miss him too. and will always remember that he broke my pencil. haha!

    teck wei and me again.

    he was the first stranger i talked to in S9. well.. it was fun knowing him and still is.

    masyitah and me.

    the cutest girl in class. and the funniest one too. i am gonna miss her perasan-ness. :D

    michelle and me.

    the smarty pants in class. (: plus the popular one. she's leaving to australia next year already. have fun there~!

    michelle, masyitah and me.

    me and ken.

    i am gonna miss ken too! he is the one that enlights the class. the most hyperactive one.

    "running on the same spot" thinking about it makes me laugh already. i am gonna miss you laa ken..

    me and rohit.

    the guy thats from Johor. :)

    pavitran and me.

    my chemistry lab partner. hahaha! :D

    me and chee xun.

    eventhough i dont talk to him much but he is still a very nice guy. every girl says that. plus his hair when he first walked into class everyday is soo funny. (:

    and the dimples are nice.

    me and yong shen.

    another class smarty. the one who always argue with pn mahani in a very funny way.

    wei xiang and me.

    this fella also damn smart one. plus he is a nice guy. :D

    siew yung and me.

    i didnt know that she was 19 until half way through the course. eventhough i dont talk to her much, its been a great year.

    me and Ms Phua.

    my physics teacher. a very nice teacher. (:

    vincent and jia shen.

    trying to act yeng and cool. it was merely a success.

    me and kylie.

    i dont really know her but she was in my physics tuition last year and since then whenever we see each other we will say hi.

    me and Ms Geetha.

    my english teacher. after she left for maternity leave only i realise that she was the teacher that we all needed.

    and her baby is soo cute.

    rohit, masyitah and jia shen.

    rohit and jia shen was trying to serenade masyitah with Kau Ilhamku from Manbai.

    khai shien, teck wei, jia shen and me.

    the 3 closest guys i have in class. i mean the closest. we go for break together everyday. (: dont know where itu jia shen looking at.

    saw some girl in a pretty red dress?

    behind L-R : khai shien, audrey, wei ping and teck wei.
    in front L-R : jia shen and me.

    me and en lin.

    he looks kinda cool with the fedora. and its true that there is that Ne-yo style in that. plus he spent damn alot on that outfit tau.

    and landed him a hot date. :D

    me and jia shen again.

    became alot closer this year. someone i could say ALMOST everything to. :)

    ernest and me.

    "i dont like you from the bottom of my heart." hahah! take care ernest peng ern as i wouldnt be seeing you anymore.

    the ex USJ 12's.

    khai shien, cherly, jia shen, jo ann, teck wei, me and ferng lin.

    photo credits to ferns taken with en lin's camera.

    we girls were laughing at jia shen's picture in my camera. HAHAHA!

    khai shien, jia shen, cherly, me, jo ann and teck wei.

    we left to Kim Gary after that to have a cup of drink. talked till like 12 something then we left for home.

    jia shen was our (me, cherly, audrey and jo ann) chauffeur for the night.

    he fetched us back to jo ann's house to collect our stuffs then fetched audrey back to ss 15 then fetch cherly home and lastly me.

    thanks jia shen!

    came home and had to remove all the make up and hair pins. i only slept at 4 something in the morning.

    cause waiting for the hair to dry in very the mafan. plus i do not like hair dryer. :D

    the plan for today was to go karaoke at 11 a.m at Neway. but i seriously cannot wake up. smsed jia shen to ask whether can i not go because i was really damn sleepy.

    so the plan changed to 12 p.m. i had an extra hour to sleep.

    went there, they said 1 clock cheaper so we waited till one. while waiting me, jia shen and cherly walked to ss 15 and visited two pet shops.

    when it was time we went up to get out karaoke rooms.

    well... the karaoke session wasnt so bad. (: at least everyone sang including khai shien and teck wei.

    the time for the session was till 5.30 p.m but we left at about 4.30 p.m. jia shen and teck wei left half an hour before us.

    came home and slept till 8.30 p.m. was damn tired laaa.

    and started blogging because there were quite a number of pictures. and uploading it takes time.

    mana tau my stupid connection really ada problem so cannot upload.

    but the time now that i am done, its already 4.00 a.m.

    sooo... good night people. tomorrow will be out for lunch with the friends and also catching a movie over at jo ann's.

    ooohh yeahh. feel free to grab the pictures peoples. :)

    goodnight people.

    ehhh wait. good morning.~!

    with love,
    sher xoxo.

    music addiction : Ronan Keating & Leann Rimes - Last thing on my mind