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  1. I am having one of those before exams before swotvac demotivated nights. I am still wondering what I am doing with my life. Stuck in the same place when everyone else is moving forward. People say, don't worry about others. They say, how others strived or how others failed should have no impact on justifying what you're doing with your life because it is YOUR life. But, seeing people moving on and writing new chapters of their lives just can't help to make me wonder when will that day come for me?

    I could have easily enrolled in a business course and probably survived it or maybe at least do what I love or surrounded with things that makes me love what I do. But instead, I am no where near what I love doing nor seeing myself doing what I do now in the future.

    Life is all about struggle and how you make the best out of it but I am just not that optimistic person. And I tend to give up on things when I know it wouldn't work out at the end anyways. But this, THIS, the path I've supposedly chosen, I can't give up. There is too much to lose and there isn't another way out. The only one is to, strive another 12 subjects and I'll be done with this.

    My white flag is already making quarter of its way up. How much longer could it be? Before I could put an end to this. Don't get me wrong, it is an amazing and bright future course. But it is just not me. At least not with the vision I have right now.

    I am more than halfway across. And I keep trying to tell myself that the light at the end of it, isn't that far away. But I myself keep stepping further and further away from the light and just keep drifting and wandering somewhere else. I know, I may not be the best and most discipline person ever because I procrastinate till the cow comes home and I still never move. Just that, I am so demotivated. I don't wanna move. I keep crawling back to my comfort routine and put everything else which is important on hold. I just keep running away from reality and just hope and hope and keep my fingers crossed that things would just miraculously work out.

    It is not something I should say but it is how I feel. And it is heartbreaking and disappointing altogether yet I never make a stand for myself. I am failing to succeed at this point of my life. And I SHOULD BE fighting back. I should, I know.

    I'd just wish I could turn back time and choose it again. Impossible, I know. Not something I should say, I know. I should be saying "I'll make the best with what I have and do the best with what I have" but, honestly, even if I would have said it, I wouldn't have meant it.

    If only I didn't have so many but(s).. and so many I know(s) that I am neglecting.

    I am sorry for letting you down, mom.


  2. castle of glass.

    Monday, October 29, 2012

    hey ya'll!

    this is my last week of uni for the semester. and then it'll be exam period and i am so not looking forward to it. i absolutely hate exams so much. like seriously... the whole stress and the routine just kills me. but oh well i could only complain and not get away with it... ):

    anyways last week was nice (: weeks that involves teck wei, shopping and good food and no uni work are always categorised as good weeks :DD

    soo... jump back to the thursday i went over to the boyfriend's,

    went over after classes and the boyfriend was having a very good day as he was done with his design project. completely like a heavy burden being lifted off him. happy him, happy me! (:

    i remember it being a coldish day that didn't need jacket but needed a long sleeve top. so denim shirt it is! and my aviators! both of them are like match made in heaven :D plus my aviators haven't been seeing the light of day in a long time. time to bring out those babies!

    and i cooked rendang chicken and fried two eggs and had them with rice for dinner (:

    my fingernails for the weekend! loveeee both the shades!

    outfit for friday's class :D went all colourful with the top. my $5 factorie tank ((:

    dinner that night. my soggy but tasted not bad nasi kampung when it is served hot. but super duper yucky when it got cold. like YUCKY...!! omggg man!

    end up chucking it out. yes it was bad and i've never cooked anything so bad before like seriously... ): and then spent the whole night watching movies and what not with the boyfriend.

    saturday, had brunch date plans with the boyfie at chadstone (:

    at jones the grocer :D

    which is where i found $50 under the table we sat and for that moment i thought "maybe i could just pick it up and keep it in my pocket." but there was these two ladies sitting beside us and i had to ask if it was theirs. but turns out it wasn't and so happened the waiter passed by so i handed it over to him. because i know that the couple who originally sat at our place wasn't gone for very long and it might be theirs. but coming to think of it now, it might be tips for the waiter already.. haha!

    anyways.. back to the food!

    big breakfast for two please! 

    both with creamy scrambled eggs :D yumssssss!! $17

    after brunch, we just went walking around chaddy for a bit. went for a little window shopping and just enjoying saturday brunch and window shopping day out with the boyfriend (:

    i also bought la belle's macarons! chocolate and blueberry. i asked for earl grey but she gave me blueberry ): but it was nice nonetheless :D

    and then we went grocery shopping to stock up on the boyfriend's exam period food and headed back.

    i went all awww when i saw this pink tree infront of where the boyfriend stays. it is so pretty!

    look at its pretty little pink flowers! :D

    "i will grow strong and pretty despite being shadowed over. life is all about living it to the fullest with whatever that is being thrown at your way..."

    just a side note, my baby really takes awesome pictures! i can't help but to still be amazed by it! :DDDD

    cooked beef rendang for dinner. and it was yucky.... AGAIN!! like seriously.... )):

    i'll stick to cooking chicken next time! and not deviate! i can't believe i cooked two days continuously of yucky food ))): so emo...

    but brightside, had chez dre's caramel cake for dessert! i love the apricot one better but this is good too. thanks to cherly who bought them back for me :D

    spent the night watching one tree hill and vampire diaries, greys anatomy, private practice and supernatural while the boyfriend went out for a short drinking session with some friends.

    vampire diaries shall now be my favourite show and the next would be greys ((:

    and once the boyfriend got back, we just spent the rest of the night giggling about nonsense and just goofing around. hehe!


    woke up close to 3pm. and i was going home with the 4.45pm bus. so yeah... had a pie for lunch and just did nothing. packing and cleaning as per usual lah.. then i was off for home. i love it when the boyfriend sends me out till where i have to get the bus... hehehe! super sweet to me (:

    was home by 6.15pm. and was greeted by the smell of steak with pepper (:

    dinner was salad with steak slices on the top and oranges, capsicums, cucumbers, fresh mint leaves underneath those coarse leaves with thai dressing and SWEET corn plus cous cous (:

    super yums! and super healthy! feels like i can eat so much without even feeling a tiny bit guilty..! HEHEHE :DD


    went to uni. and it was so hot outside!! )): like so so hot and dry... 27 degrees is already killing me! tomorrow it will be 30 degrees and so is the day after. i am seriously so not looking forward to summer AT ALL! and i will have to go through it till early jan before i go back to malaysia! heat is fine with me as malaysia is hot as well but i don't tolerate heat and dryness together. its horrrriiiibbbleeeeeee!! like a freaking giant oven!!

    to embrace the hot weather today.

    after dinner i went out for an hour walk around the neighbourhood with aunty D. it was nice going for exercise after dinner. feels better in some way or maybe its just me thinking haha!

    oooo and now i am super into skater skirts and dresses! whee to cobalt blue skater skirt! :D love love LOVE!

    gotta head to bed soon. tomorrow i have an early class at 930am which means 830am out of the house ): those who knows me well enough... i don't do well with waking up early :P HEHE!

    omgggg my room is so hot! and with the heat season coming, i have tiny little insects in my room and mosquitoes. no fun ): summer i don't like you at all.....

    the boyfriend is having his first paper tomorrow. hopefully things turns out well (: he'll always be MY smarty pants despite whoever thinks whatever ((:

    oh and i've recently downloaded the nuffnangx app. and it has been pretty fun! its like instagram but in blogs form instead of pictures. and its like all the blogs you love reading in one feed. super convenient! (:

    that's it for now! goodnight peeps!

    much love,
    Jones the Grocer on Urbanspoon

  3. hello peeps!

    to run your fingers through straight smooth clean hair feels so good! i finally started using my straightener again after like months of not touching it. plus..with the oil and all that, super love how my hair feels right now! but..tomorrow it will be a whole new different story i think? cause usually good hair days don't stay very long for me. )):

    anyways... i'll be heading over to the boyfriend's tomorrow after classes! in the end, we only parted for 3 days. and i'll be spending the coming 4 days with him. shoooooo nice :D and since he is done with his fyp's report stress, it'll be good news for me too. at least i'll be getting a churpier him for the next couple of days. then he'll be in his exam stress. but i still get happy him, so i am happy :DDD

    the past three days has just been me spending time with aunty D. she is still on leave and i haven't been very busy with uni classes, so i've been spending time talking to her about her past 7 weeks holidays and also going out with her.

    monday, we went over to essendon DFO because the cousins back home gave me a list of demands on the ralph lauren items they wanted. and since me and aunty D hasn't been there in awhile, we thought of swinging by to browse and see what are the sales like. turns out, ralph lauren was having a 70% sale off the recommended retailed price, it was the perfect time for me to clear out those demands from home!

    i ended up spending $485 on 12 pieces of clothes! wayyyy cheaper than home of course and it was a good sale!

    but downside, my account is $485 lesser.... so sadddd seeing the digits went down on a purchase that neither any of the item were mine. ahahaha!

    but but i bought this pair of floral jeans!! when i saw it i was like, "i had to get it!!" it was speaking to me in some way because it was sooooo pretty!

    the flowers are really pretty with its pink and purple. and its a cream base which is exactly what i have been wanting and it was not with a harmful price tag! oh so happy!! i've been searching for the right flower print, the right jeans colour and the right price for a couple of months already... hehehehe found it finally! :DD

    tuesday, went to uni for an early class as was home before 12pm.

    breakkie! the limited time only mighty mcmuffin. yumssss!

    then went to moonee ponds with aunty D. just went browsing and grocery shopping.

    bought myself my first falsies! i've never used them and this one is very subtle. purposely chose something more natural because i didn't want anything dramatic.

    and also, painted my toes. OPI's suzi says feng shui (:

    oh and look look! my cute little precious <3 

    today, didn't have any classes because the lab wasn't running this week. so i got up like 1230pm or something and just lazed around the house for abit.

    even watched the Lucky One. like finally!! and it was nice. typical happy ending love story but with some struggle. 

    then went out to highpoint with aunty D. the place looks so different now with its extended areas. looks like a different mall at that particular part. haha!

    outfit for today (: the weather was gloomy but it was dry and warm. hence the jeans shirt just in case if it gets cold and the short bodycon skirt just cause it is warm out there (:

    bought another pair of falsies from daiso for $2.80. and its not bad (: i didn't have my eyelash curler with me because i left it at the boyfriend's but this picture is just to see how it looks like with and without.

    oh and i took these pictures of pretty violet flowers from the backyard! super love pictures my baby takes!! so clear and prettyyyyyyy :D mama's happy (:

    and on a side note, i really love this mint green aztec print peplum top from dotti! but i couldn't find my size anywhere )): so sadddddd... )): right now, i am having this thing for peplum tops :P

    hehehehe me and my clothes and shoes and bags and accessories. basically me and everything.. HEHE!

    wokays got to go! skyping with the boyfriend now and i gotta tidy up my room. just in case if aunty D comes in sometime in the next 4 days. haha! it needs to be presentable :P

    goodnight folks!

    sher xoxo.

  4. Another first.

    Sunday, October 21, 2012

    Hey ya'll!

    Been slacking on the weekly updates. This shall be a two weeks update then (: HAHA! Now I am back to my own crib. My messy room. I have piles of stuff all over the bed... Feels like as tho I just got back from Malaysia and I have things everywhere. Well basically I did leave my room for like 7 weeks and it feels like I went for a vacation. A vacation to the boyfriend's :DDD

    This amazing 7 weeks went by in a blink of an eye. I remember I was so happy knowing that I would be spending day and night with the boyfriend for 7 weeks but now, it is like gone. GONE! Soooooo fast!!

    I am already missing him being around me and so as I type up this post, he is on the other side skyping with me. It just feels better knowing he is there. I am so not used to it =/ I used to wake up to him, seeing him day and night, cook for him (or us) and living together. Now pula back to routined life before these 7 weeks. My own room on weekdays and his on weekends only ): No fun.. How I wish we could stay in our little happy bubble forever and never have to go back out to reality... Despite all that has been said, 4 days till I see him isn't that long. It just takes sometime to get use to that again..

    Okay... soooo rewind back to two weeks ago.

    9th of October, Tuesday,

    I went back home to get my monthly travelling ticket and also to drop some stuffs off. I was having too many things over at the boyfriend's already and it was sorta messing up his room by more than abit :P hehe!

    Had my camera with me that day and while I was waiting for bus I decided to play with it and see how good of a macro shot it could take.

    some random yellow flower (:

    and a half dandelion! love dandelions! especially dandelion tattoos! :DD

    Basically I think my baby captures things pretty good. I am happy with it. Like so very happy! :D So glad I made the right choice by buying it over the Canon..!

    dinner that night. simple and filling (:


    Went out for korean dinner with the boyfie. Bought a groupon voucher a long time ago and finally got around to using it.

    it was in the city.

    all the food. it was wayyy not up to par. like seriously not nice! the only thing nice was the dumplings and the refillable side dishes and the chicken. everything else was eyerrrrr...

    Especially the bibimbab. OMG horribleeeeee! And I emo that teck wei's beef bibimbab got egg but my seafood bibimbab no egg ))): Never will I go back there again...! I want to eat good Korean BBQ laaaaaaa!! One day must drag the boyfriend go eat good korean food!

    shot these with my baby. love the second shot that i took of the platform!


    outfit of the day! love my studded cobalt blue smoking slippers!! :DD and the pastel coloured ring.. wheeeee

    I think that night's dinner was some random makan out at Nando's or something. I can't remember ahah!


    cooked porridge for dinner that night because teck wei is a huge fan of porridges. but for some reason i don't think my porridge is as good as my mums... ):

    look at my cute little nephew with the superman pose! awwww so cute! thank god for group whatsapp :DD i get to keep updated with the look of this little precious <3


    The boyfriend went out basketball in the morning and had lunch with them after that. They did call and offered for me to go lunch together with them but when they called I just woke up and so I didn't want to take up their time waiting for me. So instead, I had nuggets for lunch! Way yummier than what the boyfriend had for lunch cause apparently it was horrible. hahaha!

    Then jiashen came over to bath and the three of us headed out to the engineering computer lab. Both of them had final year project stuffs to do.

    sorta neon coral skater dress (:

    Anddddd it was a saturday and there are pizza deals on saturday and I so wanna eat... so before we left the lab, we ordered our pizzas online first and then walk home after ordering. So that once we reach home, ngam ngam no need to wait too long then can indulge in the pizzas already :DD

    three large pizzas and one chocolate lava cake FOR TWO!

    I know we are crazyyyyyy but we finished it! Ate it for supper but still finished it! Ahmazingggg I know.....! :P


    Woke up around 2pm as usual and then had a random thought around 4 ish to go over to Clayton town to have early dinner and do grocery shopping.

    early dinner was Nando's. one whole chicken with two large sides. we are one crazy eating couple. i know..... :PP

    Got back and then just pretty much stoned around. Temaned the boyfriend do his work. I watch series and stuff. The cycle continues anyways. Then as usual again, supper at night! :DD


    cooked asam seafood for dinner!

    and had coconut milk with gula melaka and sago for dessert! :DD


    thai green curry for dinner with super lots of zucchini.

    and had my nails painted over in cherly's. OPI Nicki Minaj collection's colour, Fly. loveee the colour! considering of getting one for myself :D the colour is more like the second picture.


    went out for buffet lunch with teck wei khai shien and cherly. $20 :D not too bad lah. not as over priced as the langham buffet but definitely no where as near in terms of taste as well. but still oklah ((:

    For dinner, cherly tapao-ed back maccas. I had one double quarter pounder while the boyfriend had three burgers! HAHAH!


    i cooked dark soy sauce chicken for dinner :D loved it! and as usual for the healthier side, there is vegies to balance things out. 


    very lady like flare midi skirt that day! :DD

    Dinner we just had leftover of the dark soy sauce chicken and then I fried some omelette and stir fried some vegies. Teck wei was doing his work in uni till pretty late that night soo dinner was pretty late as well.

    and had tong yuen for dessert. the filling was peanut and black sesame. yums!!

    Bought it from the asian grocery. All you gotta do it just boil it and then make your own sweet soup. In this case, I had white sugar, gula melaka and honey for the sweet base :DD


    After I got up in the afternoon, went to the lab with teck wei and had our lunch at the sports centre. hehehe had the awesome fried chicken somemore had TWO pieces. Too awesome to say no to it :D Then just stayed around in the lab watching series on my lappie while the boyfriend does his work.

    floral denim shorts ((:

    cooked carbonara for dinner :D wheeee super happy with the outcome considering it was my first attempt on cream sauce pasta. and so easy to make! i can eat this almost everyday weih. i am starting to super like my own cooked food :DDD


    Woke up about 2pm, cooked some food for the boyfriend hoping he could have it for dinner because he was in uni doing his project stuff. And I was being sad because he wouldn't be around when I had to go back but turns out, he came back just after I finished cooking and finished all the food up for lunch. I got a praised from him saying that my cooking is getting much better. Because today's lunch, I didn't have any paste to cook the chicken with so I used whatever that I could find and it turned out pretty good :DD wheeeee

    And another brightside, I got my sent off to the bus stop :P hehehehehe I am talking as tho I was leaving him and going away somewhere.. hahah!

    Came home caught up with aunty D on her trips and she cooked massaman curry for dinner. Now, I don't have to go get grocery almost everyday and think of what to cook everyday anymore. I just have to only think about weekends. ahah! Can retire for now :P

    my new armswags (arm accessories)!! i am loving spike bracelets right now!! gunmetal grey one from asos and the gold and mint green one from diva (: the crystal beads were from aunty D. souvenir from china (:

    Basically in the last 2 weeks, all I have been doing is go to uni, do work, cook, watch series, EAT and teman the boyfriend do his work while I do some other stuff on my own laptop.

    That pretty much sums up the whole 2 weeks. Summed up the food part of the past 2 weeks :D

    Same ol' same ol' routine lah. But I won't get bored of it. No way of getting bored being with him (: Now still skyping somemore. I've been writing this post for the past 4 hours and he has be on the other side for 4 hours. ehehehe God knows why I took 4 hours with this post. Haha!

    i miss my baby already! ): looking forward to the coming weekend and our series catch up together :DDD

    Goodnight peeps!

    I am so freaking hungry right now..... Got used to having supper all the time already. But no, now cannot! Have to lose weight! Been putting on so much considering the way I have been eating with the boyfriend. HAHAH! OK on losing weight mission now! Till I am back to where I was 7 weeks ago :)

    much love,

    Shinssi Hwaro Korean BBQ Restaurant on UrbanspoonPaesano International Buffet on Urbanspoon