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  1. its always unplugged and never connected.

    i feel disconnected when i couldnt go online. maybe because i downloaded GI Joe so the internet reached its limit? damn regret man. the stupid file i downloaded was a cinema recorded one. sien.

    i guess now i will fully utilize uni's internet network to download movies or series. its free anyway. the house one is just limited to my skype calls, msn and the usual normal internet surfing stuff.

    sighs. i feel so angry and sad.

    i mean its never my problem but being an outsider to just look and see how things are, i am so angry. and i hate it that i cant be bias. which part of me is already taking sides.

    i know it isnt right. i am trying my best not to care not to bother but how could i? how could i not bother and not care?

    somewhere in me, i am eager to know, to find out, too see if things are okay but for the better, i am going to care the least about it.

    i have no one to rant this to. and when i do, after a few replies, no more already. i am getting tired to get myself involved. i am getting tired of trying to talk but after a while, the reply stops.

    now, i cant even depend on anybody to be there to at least have a continuous chat with. everyone has their own worries. i know. but arent there always what people call as friends that will be there for you dont matter in what circumstances?

    i am sick and tired. somethings can never be changed and never will change. its nature. once someone is like that, forever dont matter how hard you try, you'll always be like that. you may get slightly better off but definately not far from who you've been.

    i tried to be there. i tried to care. i tried my best to get involved. but i guess dont matter how hard i try, i wont get anywhere near.

    its sad, tired, sick and angry.

    where is he when i need to talk to him? i need the theories and the advise and someone sane to listen to me.


  2. internet down.

    Saturday, August 29, 2009

    currently blogging off sheng loong's laptop. should be going out makan soon with loong and the stupid bald guy.

    i think my house internet already reached its limit soooo my cousin off the modem already. sooo i cant online.

    will update as soon as i can.


  3. love you very muchy!

    Thursday, August 27, 2009

    i was too free ss-ing around. ahaha! was trying to look over joy and too happy. ahaha!

    i am just done with my assignment. uni is still just so so. another week just passed like that. boring. and fast. ahaha!

    nowadays i've been hooked to Burning Flame 3. been watching and watching. till episode 27 already. 5 more episodes to go. (:

    during the weekends i have to and must redo my blog page. its getting old and boring. plus the meaning in it dont mean anything anymore.

    i already left right so..whats there to be there until the day i leave. old news already la.

    tang kah tim just ditched me. what a nice friend i have. herh!

    oklaaaa off to somemore burning flame. and its only viewable on windows sooo i have to switch off my mac and the windows live messenger on windows seems to have so problem.

    oklaaa ciao!


  4. when one miss too much.

    Wednesday, August 26, 2009


    its been cold here though. the winds are getting so strong. actually if there isnt much wind, the sun is pretty hot. but the wind is really really bad.

    uni has been so so. assignments? not much. kinda getting use to the life here already. waking up, eating breakfast, wait at the bus stop, sit the train to flinders, then switch another train to uni, go to class, repeat the whole train sitting cycle again, come back, online, nap, eat dinner, watch tv, go up to my room, online somemore then sleep then everything repeats again.

    how fun huh?

    its been a month that i am here. well... tomorrow will be exactly one month. i guess the one thing i havent got use to is not having friends like i did back home.

    i mean like in high school, there will always be people around school that i know them and they know me. we dont have to be friends but we know each other. and i have this huge group of people to hang out with.

    then when it came to college, the group sort of got smaller and different people were added into it but there was still a group. and people i know. and know me too. like i know a couple or two people in a levels or icpu or tbf or something.

    and then walking through any street or even a shopping complex, i'll bump into somebody familiar. especially in pyramid.

    now? i dont go around uni and say "hey!" or a light smile and say hi to anybody at all. not like before.

    there isnt a group of friends hanging out together anymore. making loud noises at places. laughing our butts off over some stupid lame funny racist joke. most of the time the jokes cracked are some racist thing. well.. ALWAYS!

    here? nothing at all.

    i miss being back home. i miss people i have back home. i miss the racist jokers. which are the friends. i miss my friends.

    and i've been screwing my own thoughts up.

    the mixture of missing people back home, train rides alone and songs on ipod. makes me think way too much.

    maybe its because there isnt anyone else to think about.

    a picture reminded me of how you used to look like to me before. i guess i was starting to forget it already. and maybe forgetting was a good thing but now i realise that there is still bits and pieces somewhere somehow.

    hot? yeahhh maybe a little.
    fine. maybe more than a little.

    and i forgot how i used to smile to it. this all means absolutely nothing. it just brought me back to my memories of what i used to have last time which now will never ever be necessary cause its not possible anymore.

    you know it was nice hearing that nick is doing good and you know talking to my mum? i miss that place and the people. NIKE <3

    sher xoxo.

    music addiction : Hush Hush - PCD

  5. lecture.... sien.

    Tuesday, August 25, 2009

    sometimes it takes half of your life waiting.

    currently sitting outside of my lecture hall waiting to get inside at 9.30 am. one hour lecture then 3 hours break.

    so i decided to bring my laptop to uni so i will be occupied during my 3 hours break. i have electronics project research and engineering maths assignment 2.

    then maybe if i have time, or i get bored of doing my work, i got my hard disk with my shows. burning flame. :D

    this lecture is the same as the hot guy i mentioned. (:

    lets hope it isnt so boring. i surely hope not. if not i will have a trouble staying awake. cause i have nobody to message at this hour. dont know qi hong wake up already or not. hmmm...?


  6. i am back in scouting action.

    Monday, August 24, 2009

    currently in the uni library waiting for my next lecture at 3.30 till 5.30 pm. then its home for me.

    i saw "the hot guy"!!
    he is in one of my classes.
    and so remind me of matt lanter. (:


    as soon as i walked out of the library. i saw him again. sitting there. ((((:

  7. its just me.

    Sunday, August 23, 2009

    since i slept late this morning, i was struggling to get up from bed at 10 am cause had to leave the house around 11 something to catch the train.

    went down to melbourne central to get for my cousin the pair of leather shoes then walked down to southbank.

    had lunch at crown with my uncle then went to this garden home expo thingy and the melbourne exhibition centre. boringggg...

    my aunty is suppose to meet us at crown around 4 something and we had so much time to spare so we took a river cruise along yarra river.

    not too bad. i enjoyed the sun and the wind.

    then aunty called asking us to go home first and rest then around 7 something only drive out for dinner. so we went home and i went online, bathed then got ready for dinner.

    went with my cousin too. :DD had dinner at lygon. just walked into some random restaurant. the food was not bad. i had salmon fettucine with mushrooms. niceee.

    actually the cousin isnt really that hot? maybe because i usually dont see him often so you know i just get excited and stuff like that when i see him during the hols or something.

    now that i see him everyday, its just not that gua cheong as i've said. hehee! but yet, something about him is still a mystery to me. and i find it rather fun and interesting having to catch him on the corner of my eye and hoping he wouldnt notice. hahahaha! :)))

    oklaaa. tired already. have to wake up at 8.30 am tomorrow morning.

    i am becoming paranoid. and its not nice.


  8. its already 3.47 am. i have soo much in mind till i refuse to go to bed. i feel so worked up and my mind is like so cramp and pack with so many disturbing thoughts.

    i had a chat with my uncle during dinner. it hit me with so many different throught. the happy and the sad.

    what if one day a family isnt a family anymore? what if that laughters and love and bondings were all there just because of money?

    what if one day someone who i treasure most and treated as someone so close, so loved just walks out of my life when there isnt money anymore.

    what if what he said was right?

    i refuse to even think that it would actually happen. why does money always has to be the root of all good and evil? i am so afraid that one day all this will happen.

    i mean what else worse could possibly happen when i already lost one of my closest. i just dont want to lose another. i dont want everything to be bounded because of money.

    i sure hope none of this are ever going to happen but what if?

    my life isnt screwed up but people in it screws up. and sometimes coming to think of it, the more i dread, the more it will happen.

    there will never ever be happy endings. just different endings to a story and you yourself label whether is it happier compared to the other endings. its the happiest ending but doesnt mean it really is very happy.

    but yet, i saw smiles and laughter behind all the sadness. i saw the happy part. i saw a big group of family having a gathering, sitting down there laughing and joking around. there is always a get together for a small gathering. nice food and laughters.

    thats the part i really hope happens instead. it doesnt need to be perfect. all it need is smile, joy and laughters.

    i saw those smile and laughters in a family today on the train. it made me smile looking at them. i think thats enough. just a slight smile is enough.

    but nowadays i really dont see much smile in myself. over my own life story. it always ends with a sigh. just sucks having to know that the worse is yet to come.


    life it just like that. it should never revolve around you only. it always involves somebody else whether you like it or not.

    i am still feeling worked up. not only about the thought of the family thing but also seing how badly things turn out and seeing myself say words that i couldnt belive i did.

    i hate being in the middle. it would have been so much better if i could be bias without feeling guilty. it would have been easier.

  9. a new beginning.

    Saturday, August 22, 2009

    i went for the barbeque event today afternoon. it starts at 12 and i was suppose to reach the around 11.47 pm but i was delayed 20 minutes.

    20 minutes stuck in the train. some maintenance problem or something like that.

    was suppose to meet up at the unilodge lobby and call victor the president of the club to come down and get us.

    i met two girls downstairs. one was stuck in the train with me and one i just met. Karen and Pei Shi. Karen from pahang. Pei Shi from malacca. nice friendly people.

    went up and met with a couple of people. they were all really friendly.

    me, karen and pei shi.

    me and pei shi.

    jeremy from johor.

    was listening to jeremy and keith talking.

    the barbeque pit.

    talked to some of them. intro abit. and just talked. things was pretty good i guess. as most of you know, i am not exactly a people person.

    i have this tendency of being a too lanci person. ahhhh i know and accepted that fact.

    i guess i was the youngest there. i think.

    went inside seeing them playing Wii and pool while i was talking with Brian and Yen Pei. nice people too. especially yen pei..she's really nice and cute. (:

    yen pei and me.

    she's already a graduate. graduated last month i think. she's really friendly.

    i dont have pictures of people i talked to. people like jensen, the guy i knew during orientation, keith, vincent, brian, victor. i now have trouble recalling names. sorry!

    victor had been nice though. he knows about the email i sent him so he kept on asking if the networking was fine.

    it was a good go.

    after that i met up with jia shen in the city. went to eat at rose garden on elizabeth street then went to eat ice cream at lygon street. Freddo. (: niceeeee :DD

    while walking halfway to take the tram, we suddenly bumped into beatrice. she saw me first and started calling my name.

    she was talking to me the whole time then she wanted to leave and the jia shen asked "you know who am i?" she didnt recognize him cause of the haircut. that scene was totally funny. ahahah!

    after that i came home. the train was delayed around 10 mins. whats wrong with delayed trains and me today? hmm...

    walked back from the station. i needed some exercise. HAHA.

    watching bones season 2 now. and blogging.

    ciao everybody~

    with love,
    sher xoxo.

    music addiction : Battlefield - Jordin Sparks

  10. red hot!

    Friday, August 21, 2009

    casey stoner.

    the australian ducati rider. i find him hot! ahahahah! maybe ferns will remember this. the poster of a guy posing for a sunglasses ad. the one we will see when we up the escalator after mcd?

    ahhhh this poster~

    i suddenly have this thing seeing hot superbikes. especially a red Ducati. super damn hot sexy!! and the rider has to be this broad shoulder looking dude in a sexy leather jacket. who cares how he looks. its covered by the helmet anyway. ahahah!

    the outlook is just enough.

    as usual today i went uni for 3 hours class which finished 1.30 pm but i am only meeting up with the guy that i have to return the programming book to, at 3.30 pm.

    so i had two hours to spare. went to eat subway for lunch then went for some professional experience in engineering seminar. the 12 weeks of working experience.

    reached home by 5 pm and watched finish bones season 1. nice series. i'll go on with season 2 soon. (: aunt went out for a dinner meeting so i stayed at home eating maggi mee with uncle.

    just finished watching Never Been Kissed and now watching So You Think You Can Dance. i like one of the girls. Janette.

    the song I Wanna by All American Rejects keeps playing on tv and i just somehow keep hearing it. and hearing it again reminds me of working in nike. whenever a all american reject song plays. it will definitely remind me of work.

    it was a fun time. there is the up and down. much have been said that i hated it at one point, i miss it now. i now remember more of the fun than the time i was angry and annoyed.

    tomorrow i will be off to the Swinburne Malaysia Student Association's bbq event at the UniLodge in campus. lets hope i am sociable enough and at least make some friends. (: after that i will be meeting up with jia shen.

    lets hope tomorrow will be fun. :D

    oklaa~ want to continue watching so you think you can dance. bye peeps!

    sher xoxo.

    music addiction : I Wanna - All American Rejects

  11. i love the view.

    Thursday, August 20, 2009

    i would go anywhere just to find you.

    hawaii is soooooo beautiful. seriously. i just saw this documentary on it. as much as i dont love the sea, i love the scenery. and sometimes quiet places eases your mind. reallyyyy.

    i finally finished season 1 of 90210. i cant wait till season 2 of it. and season 7 of one tree hill and also season 3 of gossip girl. oh ya and season 5 of supernatural. (:

    i am having a problem finding a programming book. everywhere its sold out. everywhere! now i living off someone's book. i have to return to him tomorrow at 3.30 pm when my class finishes at 1.30 pm.

    i guess i'll be at the cafeteria are for two hours to finish my work and then give him back the book.

    i went to DFO at southern cross today to get a pair of crocs for my cousin which costs only $10. cheap eh?

    then came home and slept till 6.30 pm. tired. had pasta for dinner and did my electronics project research. and i now i have trouble uploading it on the dropbox. how great is that....

    you seee... i hate it when someone just come and go in your life. one minute, its all hey how r u sort of thing the next minute not even a bye then went off.

    i actually thought i could depend on you slightly. i guess i was really wrong.


  12. new friend.

    Wednesday, August 19, 2009

    i still cant get enough of him. :D
    his eyes damn blueee!

    class starts at 9.30 am for me today. as usual, i have to wake up at least 2 hours earlier to get ready for half an hour then leave the house by 8 am in order to get to uni on time.

    actually electronic project's lab today wasnt so bad after all. i roughly know what it is about already and i have a new friend!

    a local white guy. Julian. another julian huh? this guy seem pretty smart and friendly. he is also in my engineering maths class. and in my group for electronics project. not bad huh?

    i almost forgot whats the feeling of knowing a new friend. i am happier now. i dont feel so negative and down already.

    i should probably be going for the barbeque event for malaysian students this saturday. then maybe i'll meet more people.

    now i am having trouble finding a programming book. the bookshop sold out already. ):

    oklaaaa~ i am ciaoing to somemore 90210. i'll finish it all by tonight. tomorrow i start class at 11.30 am. sooo can sleep slightly longer and i only have one hour class tomorrow. yay!

    nights everybody!

    much lovee,

  13. new hottie alert!

    Tuesday, August 18, 2009

    i am hooked with 90210. i watched 5 episodes today. thats cause i brought my laptop to uni cause i have a 3 hours break in between classes so i spent it by sitting at the cafeteria area and watching 90210. (:

    the first intention was to do my assignment online but i had some problem going online with my laptop. dont know why.

    in every series i watch there will be a guy i loveeee seeing. one tree hill is chad michael murray. gossip girl is chace crawford. supernatural is jensen ackles and jared padelecki. ugly betty is eric mabius. the oc is cam gigandet. bones is david boreanaz.

    90210 is Matt Lanter! hot hot~ blueeee eyes and nice deep voice. and he has this mysterious, tough, bad boy character in the show. Liam Court. (:

    the sexy bartender. (:

    the new kid in school.

    oh so hot~!

    he looks abit like chris evan in this picture. chris evans is hot too!

    hot guys seriously only appear on screen. i hardly see any around my campus area. yes they are lots of white guys around but havent quite caught my attention to look at them for another few seconds.

    all i did today was go to uni for two hour of different classes but have a 3 hour break in between them. sadd huh? got home at around 4 something.

    i still have electronics projects assignment i havent do. sien. i seriously dont like this subject. its like alien language to me. even worse than C language in programming.

    thats cause the lecturer gives assignments but dont explain how to do it. and knowing me, i have no friends yet, i got no one to ask about it. this sucks!

    oklaaa ciaoing~

    waiting for mum's call and then start doing my assignment. i am already planning to sleep late. lets hope tomorrow's lab for electronics project passes fast. i seriously hope it will!


    sher xoxo.

  14. you make me see the world.

    Monday, August 17, 2009

    i've been busy for the past week cause my cousin came and it was the last week mum is going to be around sooo i didnt have much time to come online and update my blog.

    a short quick recap.

    wednesday we were stayed in the city later abit to see the night lights and walk around to enjoy the cold air.


    i love walking on southbank. dont know why but i just do.

    crown hotel and casino. with blueeeee lights!

    before strolling around the city, we spend most of our time in DFO. and guess what i didnt buy anything. suprising? ahah!

    the shops in the city i mean on swanston street actually closes pretty early. 6 pm?

    but the day mum left, we did some last minute shopping at the big DFO near my house. i bought a pair of polka dots shorts from cotton on. only $10. cheap cheap. :D

    yesterday me, uncle and aunty went to docklands.

    the big wheel.


    there wasnt much things there and i didnt buy anything too. ahahaha! i didnt manage to find a pair of nice leather boots yet. like damn hard to find something i like. anyway, i am on a string budget. soooo must learn to save money. (:

    you know what? i put on 2 kilos. with the cold weather and stuff, i get hungry damn fast. plus the food is nice and the portion is big.

    lets hope it will go down. i dont want it to go up and never come back down again.

    oklaaaa i am off to bed. tomorrow have to wake up at 7.15 am. cause i have to catch the 8 oclock bus since class starts at 9.30 am.

    love ya'll!

    much lovee,

  15. its hard to say.

    Sunday, August 16, 2009

    by myself.

    leaving was never easy to bear. its going to be 9 months till the next visit. i've never been apart for this long before. but i guess i am not left with any choice.

    its so hard to type my feelings out. even i am uncertain of what it is. will things ever get better?

    i really dont know. where is everyone? who can i talk to? what can i say about? i've never felt like this before. at least not ever once before, all this feelings hit me at one time.


  16. 4 days.

    Tuesday, August 11, 2009

    these are all my backdated posts. i am always too lazy to update and type sooo much. ahaha! this explains why i suddenly stop blogging for a few days. and i was busy lazing around.

    and all this posts are in my 500th post. not bad huh. i still remember when i started my blog i had my consultanTim. now according to him, i dont need him anymore. ahahaha!

    Saturday, 8th of August 2009.

    went out with the ex college classmates. the S9s. (: the meeting place was at melbourne central at 12 pm but i went earlier so that i have time to go shop for cherly's present and jia shen came to join me at about 11 am.

    i was already certain of what to buy so it leaves us with quite some time till 12 pm where everyone would come. soooo we went to sheng loong's place at unilodge on swanston street.

    sat there at talked till it was time to meet. went down at bumped into ken and he told us that the rest will be late so its 12.30 pm. went under "the clock" and met up with ernest. then daniel moh came. then michelle. then yong shen.

    audrey was sick soooo she came later when we were in the state library playing ps3. ahahaha!

    then we took a train to Camberwell to eat at Sofia. the food portion there is big and with reasonable pricing.

    audrey and jia shen.

    me and audrey.

    this is their garlic bread. big!

    ordered two large pizzas and two pastas to share. it was more than enough for the 8 of us.

    $64 dollars shared among 8 people. $8 per person and we were all damn full. it was worth my $8. the white sauce pasta was quite good.

    basically we just went out for lunch and thats it. after lunch we headed home in our seperate ways. most of them stays in the city except me, jia shen and ken. but ken was going to the city to meet some friends.

    went home and laze around the house as usual. when mum, aunt and uncle went out to fecth my cousin and his friend from the airport who is coming over from malaysia, i was skyping at home with tim.

    for almost 1 and the half hours.

    say hello to the nerdy looking friend. (: only when he is with that pair of specs.

    i miss the tall bugger. it was nice using at the sarcasm on him and him telling me lame jokes. as usual laa, he is weird plus funny and entertaining. ahahah!

    and then the cousin arrived and i only slept at 2 am. tired~

    Sunday, 9th of August 2009.

    went to st kilda beach. brought my cousin there to look see look see. (:

    they were having the sunday flea market thingy.

    mum, me, phei fern jie and uncle.

    the theme park behind is scary. their roller coaster tracks is still made of wood and the sound of it is creepy cause it is as though its about to crash or something.

    well i guess thats the thrill. ahaha!

    ate at the pier. nice view.

    my $24 seafood spaghetti.

    cousin who came to visit for a week.

    the $24 fish and chips.

    fried calamari which costs $19.

    expensive but nice. ahaha! since my cousin had been in india so long with the not so nice food, mum definitely would want to treat him with good food. (:

    st kilda is famous for its cakes. soooo many cake shops and soo many people.

    they all look damn nice. yummmy~

    after st kilda we went over to southbank just for a walk. we got tired so we sat down for a cup of hot chocolate and eating the cakes we bought from st kilda while sitting beside the yarra river with the nice breeze. (:

    i even bought salmon handroll to eat after that. HAHA.

    and then left for home. had the walk back to home from the station cause sunday there isnt any bus services. and the wind was strong. cold ahhh!

    Monday, 10th of August 2009.

    my first day of uni. first class started at 10.30 am and i was late. thats cause i wasnt sure where the BA building is and i forgot to bring my map.

    it was the engineering maths class. a rather small class so when i walked in late, they all gave me a stare. felt damn weird and awkward.

    then it was the programming lab session.

    instead of a two hours lab session, it was only half an hour cause it was the first lab class and they didnt have much to teach.

    include the remaining one and the half hour and another one more hour break, i have 2 and the half hours sooo i went down to the city to join mum they all at chinatown for lunch.

    and then went back to uni for my last 2 hour lecture for the day.

    programming lecture.

    bloody hell. i dont understand a shit. the C language. apa ini laaaa? and i am doing a whole semester of this. sigh.

    even ferns say its headache. a computer geek who thinks its headache, where that leaves me?

    and.... first day of uni is sadd la. i made no friends. lets hope its only a first week kinda thing. it should be.

    Today, 11th of August 2009.

    mum they all went to Mt Buller to play snow and i had to go uni. sadd case. uni starts at 9.30 am for me. one hour lecture then 3 hours break.

    during the 3 hours break, i went to look for jia shen at his place in Murrumbeena. was at his house lazing around and getting burning flame 3 from him. as he calls his bro the "Astro on Demand"

    then went with him to the city to meet up with celine for lunch. ate at Rose Garden on elizabeth street. i only had half hour to munch down my food cause i have to leave by 1 pm so that i wont be late to engineering maths class again which was at 1.30 pm.

    that was only one hour of class and thats it for the day. headed home and now i am here feeling sleepy but yet need to blog and want to watch some series. hahaha!

    mum they all will be back later tonight.

    signing off. either to sleep or some burning flame episodes. hmmmm. bye~

    much lovee,
    sher xoxo.

    music addiction : Angel - Natasha Bedingfield