ps : i heart you ♥

i feel disconnected when i couldnt go online. maybe because i downloaded GI Joe so the internet reached its limit? damn regret man. the stupid file i downloaded was a cinema recorded one. sien.

i guess now i will fully utilize uni's internet network to download movies or series. its free anyway. the house one is just limited to my skype calls, msn and the usual normal internet surfing stuff.

sighs. i feel so angry and sad.

i mean its never my problem but being an outsider to just look and see how things are, i am so angry. and i hate it that i cant be bias. which part of me is already taking sides.

i know it isnt right. i am trying my best not to care not to bother but how could i? how could i not bother and not care?

somewhere in me, i am eager to know, to find out, too see if things are okay but for the better, i am going to care the least about it.

i have no one to rant this to. and when i do, after a few replies, no more already. i am getting tired to get myself involved. i am getting tired of trying to talk but after a while, the reply stops.

now, i cant even depend on anybody to be there to at least have a continuous chat with. everyone has their own worries. i know. but arent there always what people call as friends that will be there for you dont matter in what circumstances?

i am sick and tired. somethings can never be changed and never will change. its nature. once someone is like that, forever dont matter how hard you try, you'll always be like that. you may get slightly better off but definately not far from who you've been.

i tried to be there. i tried to care. i tried my best to get involved. but i guess dont matter how hard i try, i wont get anywhere near.

its sad, tired, sick and angry.

where is he when i need to talk to him? i need the theories and the advise and someone sane to listen to me.

shereena.