ps : i heart you ♥

work has been fine. the only person that came to visit me today was hong jiun. and steph came yesterday. i havent been seeing her so long. i miss her.

sorry i didnt blog that you came yesterday. things had been bothering me lately.

i just read jo ann's postcard. i have soo much to say to her. things i cannot blog about anymore. and things that i can say to nobody at all. some wont understand. some wont care.

everyone complains about their problems. complains about how sucky life is. complains about how terrible things went in their lives.

what about me huh? i have my own set of problems too. but because of not wanting to be the next person that complains, i just cant speak out my problems to make myself feel better.

i cant speak to anybody over here. i dont want to make things worse.

i have soooooo much to say now. i just typed something soo long but i just cant seem to post that up. i'll ruin things even more. making things even worse.

i am really scared. really scared. does crying or tearing really helps? because it is not helping now. i feel as though the things i treasure soo much is slipping off my fingers.

i am still here yet things are already like that. i am so scared. things is definetely going to change when i leave and it is not going to be changing to something better.

i dont want to lose all this.

do you really have to see each other everyday to be close? i dont get it. i wonder if ever anyone feels like what i am feeling.

i feel the distance soo badly. jo, when you see the postcard that will be delivered to you, you'll understand this post of mine.

not only you people have fucked up problems okay? i am also a human.

i am trying sooo hard to make things better with my emotions. trying so hard to laugh to talk at work to make myself feel better.

yes indeed at work i feel much better but i dont like being home and being alone. i feel as though it just all hit me in one shot. it hurts soo badly.

i dont only feel alone physically, i feel alone in the inside.

and crying nor tearing dont fucking help. i feel stupid caring over something that people dont. i am really scared. i am scared of losing things i treasure soo much. people that i treasure so much. the relationship that i treasure so much.

i guess this is life. it never goes your way every time. everything is fated.