ps : i heart you ♥

this coming four years would be the ladder to the tip of my life. but the starting base of this ladder doesn't feel steady or strong.

alot is sacrificed to try and make this a success. not to mention to cost and effort. the cost is huge and i can't afford to just keep trying and trying. i need to just have it only once and strike it.

programming is literally killing me and this is just the start. only the start. there is still more to come. i know if more time is given, i would nail it. but... there isn't much time.

this is just so annoying and it brings down my mood so badly. whenever people ask about it i tend to always say its okay. its not bad. but i really don't know anymore.

the exam is on thursday. i have to get at least 50% for the paper in order to pass the whole subject. if i don't, i don't know how to say or what to say to make me feel better and make things right.

no doubt after thursday i would feel slightly lighter cause exams are over but the results would be published on the 12th of december. what am i going to do then? it is just really frustrating knowing almost 80% of the chances of how it would turn out to be but yet hoping that the other 20% of chances would happen instead.

DAMN.

and it's only my first semester. great...