ps : i heart you ♥

woke up around 1 pm today. messaged ferns to get a favour from him cause i needed transport to ktm as i have to go downtown to look for my mum.

and he is kind enough to be able to fetch me. since we both havent had lunch, we went to kenny rogers in parade for lunch.

had a nice chat during lunch then he fetched me to ktm. reached mum's office around 4 something. sat in the office for a while then left to mum's customer's house at imbi.

customer became friends. they know i am leaving so they wanted to treat me dinner. went to Ah Yat Abalone Restaurant at Avenue K.

i had a great dinner. small cute abalone, one whole piece of shark fin's. they were all really nice people. even his mum was so friendly. and also got me a Longines pen for a leaving gift.

thanks so much for dinner and all the advices.

after dinner which was around 10 something, i went over to itallianies at pyramid for en lin's suprise party. i was very late la but at least i went right...

was there for a while then left for home. went back with qi hong and jenn hsen and en lin. followed qi hong to fetch en lin back to kemuning utama.

received a message from walter saying that he cant make it to the party cause he is very sick. he even thought that today is my birthday instead of tomorrow. i mean he dont usually make such mistakes. soo i guess he is really sick?

i even had a 'happy forwarded birthday' wish all the way from china. fine laaa i gues i'll just accept it for the time being. i am still waiting for a wish on the day itself. lets hope i'll get it.

anyways,




this fella here had been a great friend la. the girly guy. ahahah! and a very vain one.

enjoy yourself today! its your day laaa. sooo go have fun first then only come for mine. dont make me feel guilty. hahaha!

happy birthday once again.

lots of love,
shereena.

when i am sad only two movies cheers me up in some way. Cinderella Story and Step Up. i purposely downloaded both so that it'll keep me accompanied in melbourne.

i just finished watching Step Up.


whats more to say. i love it. i think i've watched it over 10 times yet i still love it and still laugh and smile over the little parts. i just love the show. (:


and channing tatum is the bomb. i cant get my eyes off him. i am serious. my eyes are literally glued to him. everything fell right into place. the eyes, the smile, the laugh, the body, the moves, the height and the look.

as i said, seeing a hot guy keeps my mind off things for that particular time.

ahhhhh.. channing~! he is acting in the coming up G.I Joe. so i'll go and watch. chad micheal murray. channing tatum. chace crawford. josh duhamel. jensen ackles. my 'it' celebs that i absolutely adore.

its getting so late. coming to 4 am. but i am not quite in a mood to get myself a nice rest. the birthday is coming in two days. the party is tomorrow.

everything is coming so soon. sigh.

i miss you. i really do. somehow. people have been asking me about you. my mum. friends. will there be a day that you never involved in?

good morning peeps~

much lovee,
sher xoxo.

nowadays there is like an automatic alarm clock in me. it will ring once at 12 something and around 1 oclock for the second time. it just depends whether do i want to get up from bed.

3 hours just passed like that. all i did was reading blogs, checking up on my downloads, ate a little, watched a bit of nanny diaries, lied on the couch, thought too much, emoed, listened to some songs and reading a website published by gay writers.

i suddenly felt that my house feels so quiet and empty. i am just like a nobody that sits in the corner that taps on the wireless network.

i feel that my back pains are coming back on me. just some slight twitches.

my mind is wandering so much. thinking about my birthday whether will i have the wishes i want. thinking about the day i leave. thinking about my life is melbourne. thinking about you.

everything about you is suppose to fcking leave me. but why? i've been nagged soo much, lectured, telling how much it is not worth, telling me how pathetic i am, how stupid i am, wasting 2 years, wasting my youth BUT it doesnt make much difference to how i am now.

as much as i know all those are true, my heart just doesnt want to say goodbye yet. i've felt foolish. i've felt stupid. i've felt unworthy. i've felt unbothered and uncared. so?

i've never been dreaming so much.

i guess at this point of time, hot guys are the only ones that will keep my mind off certain matters.

i dont know.

woke up around 12 something today. we are suppose to go redbox at 1 something so around 12 plus cherly already message me to wake me up.

jia shen and cherly came to pick me up then went to jia shen's house to wait for him to bath which only took 5 minutes i think. me and cherly was waiting in the car.

then we left to pyramid as ferns and en lin was already at redbox waiting for us. yao yun couldnt join cause she went for CF camp at PD. she'll be there till friday. ):


sang some emo songs and some weird funny songs and also michael jackson's songs.


this song made me think of sunday. think of the time at jusco. when tim was around and they were all singing it. "en lin, are you okay?" because of their gaming sessions. i miss tim. ):

was at redbox till 5 pm. i guess this cheung k session was kinda fun laa. had alot of gay singing tones, screaming, shouting, changing lyrics, emoish. ahah!

and then went walking around for a while and i decided to follow ferns's car home and let jia shen and cherly go back together. :D

before leaving me, en lin, ferns detoured somewhere else first. en lin to renoma. ferns to machines. me to nike. (:

followed ferns to fetch en lin back to kemuning utama. the whole way was jam and was also damn jam on our back after dropping en lin.

had ferns accompanied with lots of topics. peoples to talk about. ahaha! reached home 7 something. 7.30 like that. the moment i came home i lied on my couch and fell asleep till 9 something.

and now here i am. watching Burning Flame 3 and blogging. and hearing to 原来我最爱的人是你不是他 - 林健辉.

当你离开的时候没有任何的理由 心里有一点痛
如果时间能回头多想抓住你的手 不要让你走
突然看见我和你的照片 彷佛一切回到我的身边

原来我最爱的人是你不是他
心里的无奈多希望能够对你说明白
原来我最爱的人是你不是他
对你的思念永远都看不见
到底爱要怎麽说

我一直以为时间能够把一切都带走 不曾想过要回头
如果我们的爱还没到尽头 只想靠近你我不想放你走

i love this song so so much. and burning flame 3 got hot guy. Kevin cheng!!

k laa~! that pretty much summed up what happened today.

sighs. 19 more days. i am not ready to feel what i felt on sunday again. it was sad. seeing someone leaving me was already so sad. leaving a whole big bunch of people would be worse.

i am just making myself feel sad. ):

much love,
shereena.

just finished watching Taken. the show is not bad. kinda good. when parents watch it, especially those with daughters, they'll get paranoid.

shows makes it so scary. but i know somewhere in the world things happens like that. the world is so huge, once you are gone, you might not be found forever.

traveling in a group would be less scary. as much as i want to travel around the world, i'd rather not by myself. they drug young girl travellers. sell them away for prostitution. drug them again so they wont know whats happening and then give men their pleasure. fucking sick.

btw, the main actor's voice was sooo familiar until i wiki-ed it i found out he was the voice of Azlan in Narnia. and one of the actress acted in supernatural. the hot demon. :D

this shall be a goal to myself. i'll get a good job, earn alot and then go traveling. all over Europe and the States. i will. one day. but not alone. :D

i thought i finally could cheer up. but it seems no. i am still caught up in that own world of mine. the world and the thoughts that i somehow couldnt say bye to yet.

sigh.

i was reading someone's blog. she was blogging over germany. the thought of you instantly appeared. sigh.

i thought this time it would be simple. just by saying goodbye and talk about it and then i could just let go and move on. but apparently its just not that easy. i find it so so hard. its going to take me lots and lots of time to pull this through.

you are almost in every part of my thoughts. whenever i say something or think about something, you'll somehow be remembered.

i hate how much i like you.

i had no one else to talk to this to. i just didnt have that guts to talk about it to anyone close. until a point where i couldnt take it, i told someone. someone distant yet cared in a way. the stupid chinese. ahah!

but yet, it still bothers me.

sigh.

shereena.

woke up around 1 pm today as i only went to bed at around 5.30 am. i just couldnt sleep and wasnt tired. so i stayed up to get nearer.

i had a talk with you. after all this while, i finally had the guts to discuss with you about it. i am sorry i've put you into all of this. my emoness and all. it feels better after talking about it.

you dont have to be sorry or to feel bad. its just a phase. and its not really your fault.

remember the promise you promised. we will try to keep the distance between us close. i cant guarantee it a 100% but at least we try okay?

went out lunch with jia shen, cherly, yao yun and ferns to parade's mcdonalds. i had to get out of the house for a bit. its not really a right time to stay at home alone with these kinda moods.

was in parade till 3 something 4 then left to taipan's oldtown for a drink. talked abit more then left back home.

went to jia shen's house to get ferns's car and then left with yao yun and ferns with the intention of accompanying ferns to fetch yao yun back to kk.

when we are nearing school, yao yun's mum called saying that she'll come out from kk so we dont need to fetch her all the way back.

we detoured to SMK USJ 12 to get yao yun's SPM certificate. i walked into school with a pair of short shorts. ahaha!

came home and ferns dota-ed with my macbook. gamers. i watched my tvb drama on aod while ferns playing his game.

till mum came back ferns was still playing. around 8 something he left cause he is going dinner with jia shen. they just cant get enough of each other. they played game together and then went out dinner together. ahah!

and later, i just basically rot around the house. now still rotting. i downloaded Taken. i shall watch it soon. :D i wonder how late i'll sleep tonight.

i am already missing tim. ): well.. as he said, chatting is the least we could do now. sigh.

oklaa. ciao first~! off to some movies. nights people.

loves,
sher xoxo.

was out with ferns, tim, cherly, jia shen, wei jun at pyramid for a dinner with tim. i guess the only dinner till i'll see tim next for dont know how long.

had to fetch tim from kk and mana tau this fella havent ready. call his phone no one picked up, rang the doorbell no one answered. so ferns tried to pull the gate and it opened the went in, the doors can be opened to.

went all the way up to his room and found out his was bathing and knocked on his toilet door. this fella ah home alone also so selamba with all the locks.

lingered around the house for a bit. then talked to sue yee a bit. it seems she'll be going over to melbourne and she said she'll go find me. soo see how la.

then left to pyramid. went back nike a while and realise how much i miss nick. i dont miss working i just miss working there. the environment and staffs. sigh

ate japanese food and tim belanja-ed me. there goes his 50 ringgit. thanks weih!

then went old taste ss15 for yam cha and talked soooo much. was there from 9 something till 12 am. not bad huh.

talked almost about the most random things. horror stories, horror games, sick pre-war german human experiment thing, matrix, naked keanu reeves, SM, mum's friend's daughter.

had to leave already cause it was getting late and i still had to fetch tim back to his apartment to get his guitar bag and then only left back to kk.

sent yao yun home and then it was tim. i felt the hit already when i was turning into the area.

that was it. my goodbyes. a goodbye hug and the tears. i couldnt drive so ferns drove back and i drove back from ferns place.

sigh.







you will never show up infront of my house suddenly after calling me 5 minutes ago asking me to go out. i wont seat in your car anymore. directing you to the destinations as your directions sucks. (: wont have you suddenly whacking me and telling me that there isnt a uni that wants to take you in. sigh.



i just dont know how to imagine anymore for not seeing you thaaaaaaat long. its going to be so long and hard. you'll always be that one friend i will always remember. somehow. the memories i had. ): but i guess people moves on. i will. but still some things are always there and will only be remembered always.

HAHA. the lamia dance. sigh the last stupid thing i'll see from you till anytime soon.


as written on the keychain, always will be the best of friends. honestly and sincerely meant it. i really do.

have a safe journey later. writing all this brought back so much memories. making me cry so much and my eyes hurts so badly. i feel a sudden numb.

i dont know anymore. there isnt anything to be sorry about or to feel bad about. so yeaa.

just good luck and take care! will be missing you.

loads of love,
shereena.

it was soo hard for me to sleep this morning. was on the bed for 2 hours yet i couldnt fall asleep. tossing and turning. i was soo disturbed.

i had to reply smses acting that i am so fine when i am not.

finally managed to sleep at 4 something in the morning. till my eyes was so pain and tired, i fell asleep.

went to the salon today and had a hair makeover. i needed some change to my hairstyle. well... just a slight change. i havent been doing much things on my hair for quite some time.

since that i will be leaving soon, i guess i need some change.


not really that new. it used to be like that last time. laaaasst time. should gave seen the first round of dye on my hair. it was shit. i looked damn lala. i had to ask them to get me another darker colour on it again. wayyy too much chemicals on my hair today. alot.

the internet connection is sooo damn sucky man. i am sick of going to the switch and switching it on and off few times till it gets connected.

its not fun to do especially when the mood is bad.

i am so tired of all this shit. i am running away from it. i am just hiding. i never wanted to face the damn fact over this. breaking down, making a whole damn mess for myself, bringing the worse thoughts to my mind and get myself all emo.

wtf. 22 days? the last day?

i really feel so jumbled up. i need a nice loud scream or shouting almost anything to somebody annoying.

i cant control. it flows and dries up and then something comes up again and it flows again. its getting tired and painful.

it sucks.

shereena.

just got back from kk awhile ago. qi hong fetched me. its been sooo long since he fetched me around. well its been kinda long since i last went out with him.

earlier today i went lunch with yao yun, kah tim, en lin and ferns at strawberry fields, taipan. was there till about 3 something then came home cause ferns had to come over to help me with my notebooks and yao yun needed to get some stuff from me. so they all came.

jia shen was already outside of my house before we could reach. damn hot and he can sit there and smoke.

all of them was at my house lepaking till about 4 something yao yun had to leave to pyramid so ferns fetched her there and the other 3 remained in my house lazing around.

they all left at about 5 something cause they had futsal at 6 pm. i slept till mum came home and greeted me with a loud "bitch". my neighours are stupid indians. no offence la but house street has alot of indians and they are asses.

went out around 9 something to old town taipan with qi hong and ee jun and jia shen came later then around 10 something left to kk's old town. hahah! abit lifeless la.

was at kk till 12 something. talked to qi hong quite some stuff. i will miss him soooo much. sigh. came home and mum is angry with me.

she says she gave me too much freedom. sighs.

24 days? 2 days? does leaving had to be this hard. and does seeing someone leave be this hard?

i feel horrible. i dont know why. i feel heat and blood rushing up my head. my eyes are getting so tired and watery. there is sooo much things running through my mind. the mixed feeling i am having is soo fucked up.

sigh.

shereena.

just got back from melur a while ago. went with steph, yao yun, tim, ferns, cherly, jia shen and en lin. the usual yam cha sessions.

talked so much, laughed. the typical mamak sessions. crapping. talking horny jokes. stupid racist jokes on me.

i will really really miss all this. australia is coming soo soon for me.

sigh. i am so disturbed.

i dont know what to say or what to do to make things better abit. it really hit me when i read those words. i really really felt sad for him.

i dont know why but i've always took notice of this matter. i always try so hard to think of a way to make things better but i was just never able to.

as much as i look i didnt care, i really do. just that maybe its in a different way. i dont know. since before, i always cared in a different way.

everything seems so fine on the outside but in the inside, its not. its sad. sigh. i really dont know. i cant be asking cause i wasnt informed. i can only be worried of her.

i guess my problems were never near all this. this is sad. i dont know laaa.

tim is leaving in 3 days? another friend leaving. then once and for all i'll leave everyone. i had a dream earlier this evening when i fell asleep for only half an hour.

it was unpleasant. that feeling at that moment in the dream was horrid. but how.. its coming very very soon. sigh.

screw it la.

*edit*

luckily around 3 am like that i had yao yun, en lin, and tim to chat with. they were all at yao yun's house doing stupid things and i skyping with them.

tim was too afraid to go home since he will be home alone and we were talking about ghost and horror movies before we left melur. that explains why he is in yao yun's room but en lin???? aiya finding an excuse to go yao yun's room only la. stupid fella. :D

but the stupid skype on my mac cant take snapshots of the conversation. luckily yao yun's can. dont matter how stupid the pictures look, i still want them.

i dont do this often and it occupied my quite emo moments. its a good thing though. slept at about 5.15 am?

i now have one picture though. my shocked face is soooo fake. the boys flashing us with their half exposed underwear and boxers.


shereena.

woke up around 1 pm by jia shen's message. asking me to go out for lunch with him and cherly. while getting ready tim called. he wants me to go to school together with him to collect the spm certificate.

i told him to wait so that i could jia shen to tell him i will join them for lunch later and before i could put down the phone, tim was already outside of my house. expecting that i would go with him.

went to school and tim just drove in without filling up any sort of form or whatever. its weird that the guard didnt stop us. saw puan teo and puan choo. puan choo was a damn nice teacher la. those were the old school days.

seeing the place where i usually stand to wait for my bus on thursdays and where i usually talk to walter, tim. high school days just went pass like that. its already a year and a half. its been long.

met up with cherly and jia shen at a penang cuisine restaurant nearby old town. ate and talked and then left for home. tim fetched me back cause the other two went to get some stuff in watson or something like that.

kah tim is leaving soon. wouldnt be able to attend my birthday plus farewell party. leaving soon means next monday morning. how sadd huh. i wont be seeing this friend of mine after sunday night. sigh

came home and lazed around and then watched August Rush.


i love this show. a show where music means so much to someone and that love will never change. bond between mother and son will always be there. inheriting the genes from both parents. having your own dad telling you that your child died but actually he gave your son up for adoption.

took 11 years to find him back and having the love of your life standing beside you and holding your hands watching your son perform.

its good. love do last that long even if you guys were only together for one night? that one night spent together is remembered and always cherished forever? such thing exist?

oh and ya. i never actually knew jonathan rhys meyers is thaaaat charming. and he sings? i really didnt know.



hot and sexy in a way. and his accent makes him even hotter. :D

i continued writing the post again today. 25days left? one week passes so fast. there is only 3 weeks left. its so soon. and i really ready to leave?

i'll miss you friend.

much love,
shereena.

hot guys only appears on screen huh? romantic, great, sweet, nice, hot, sensible and all those good guys only appears in books or on screen.

real life? there may be some but its sooo hard to find. and some people have them but dont appreciate their presence. what the hell right.

i just had three episodes of supernatural. i just cant get enough of the two of them. i guess girls will always drool over hot guys on screen. its known and unchangeable fact.

okay fine. not all girls but i am definitely one of them. (:

jensen ackles? somehow perfect in my eyes. and i know yao yun agrees with me. hahahaa! jared padelecki? i still like him somehow. the height, the body. just something about him.

i will miss times like this. staying up till 4 5 in the morning for series. drooling over hot guys on screen. getting emo over a sudden thought that came by.

when uni starts, i am sure life like what am i having now will be less. i'll be too tired to stay awake so late and i cant do it everyday. ):

was out with jia shen, cherly, ferns, and the "special guest" today. umm.. yesterday since it is pass midnight. caught a movie together at pyramid.


it was funny la but i am still not the cartoon comedy sort of person. so yeahh.

i have 18 minutes before the battery drops dead. i lazy walk towards to charger and plug it in. ahaha!

went present hunting today. i guess i got what i wanted to get for them. and i swear i saw it as a plane at first. now it looks like a fish to me. sorry qihong! :D

and you too.

came home and slept till 8 something for dinner and then watch my series on aod. i like this particular hong kong actor, patrick tang kin wang. (: he is cuteeee.

sigh.

the days are getting nearer. to be sad or to be excited? i really dont know.

loves,
sher xoxo.

i really really hope you know and you will take care of yourself. i dont want to see you regret and being unhappy.

i hope the talk really worked. i am trying to mend things and also give some awareness.

whatever it is, i am always here for you. i may not have been the bestest friend, but i dont want to see you get in any sort of troubles.

sigh.

i really hope it will be as promise.

i'll always love you.

shereena.

on the outlook you seem perfectly fine. but i really can sense that things are so wrong for you. i dont know how to help cause i suck at it. but seeing things going like this for you is not any better too. you've always stick with me through my down moments and was always there to help.

this time, i dont know what to do to help. i tried to. but it doesnt seem to be working and i dare not ask much cause i am afraid i am bad at the words i use. sighs.

just be strong my dear. i can only hope things to turn out better for you.

now my part, eventhough i've made that decision to let go to change to forget, you were still "the person" for so long. even the memories may not entirely sweet, you were still apart of my soo many things.

i am soon not going to see you for a long long time and will only hear stuff bout you from people or maybe yourself and thats if i start talking to you first. thinking about it, its sad.

whatever it is, i'll still miss you la friend.

the days are getting nearer. i am leaving in less than one month. its sooo soon. i called qihong a couple of months ago right after jia shen left and started crying cause of leaving. and the day is reaching soon.

i wonder how much i dread the moment of leaving to come.

life.

much love,
sher xoxo.