currently sitting in an almost empty office. its like 9am already but there is barely anyone. no one means no work yet and i happen to be suddenly in the mood of reminiscing 2011.
2011 means only one thing to me. which is you <3 you were the most important thing that happened this year. everything started so spontaneously between us. and it had been one very interesting year too. i've learn to be someone whom i've never been given the chance to be in the past 20 years of my life. i've learnt to not only put my family first but also to put you first before myself. i was terrified at the beginning of last year because i have no experience what so ever on how to make this work. in my mind everything had to be perfect. and because i was trying too hard to make it perfect, i started by burdening my mind with all these thoughts on how things should be rather than letting it flow as time progresses.
which resulted in a hard slap on my face and i had the most horrifying breakdown that i've never ever experience before and happened during the beginning of my first semester back in melbourne. heartbreak. literally.
i fought back because i saw us slipping away from my hands and a chance to start over again was given to me. this time i've learnt that i can't make this perfect. instead of the need i used to have on announcing to the world about us and what we are, being happy together is what matters most. from then on, i became a happier person after fully understanding that a status just isn't significant in a relationship. i was happy and we were happy.
letting lose was one of the best decision i've ever made. as time passed by, things started to fall into place towards the 'perfect' i was forcing on happening before. all the more reason i understood better that perfect would come eventually and it could never be forced. day by day, i learn how to be there for someone, be honest and always solve my problems and doubts with him. i learnt how to maintain a long term relationship with someone. and i learnt how to cook too haha!
now, i am contented with what we have. in the journey of a relationship, there is no doubt that it won't be a smooth sail, and by hitting a couple of hiccups along the way is when we learn how to stay together and overcome it together. hopefully we will have many more years to come, to sail through this amazing journey together (:
studies wise, it had been one hell of a year. it wasn't great. i literally felt like it was rock bottom for me. until a point i hated uni so much. i hated the people. i hated everything. i broke down twice last year and i felt like i was on the verge of giving up. but thinking about holding that certificate in my hands right at the end of it proves that i am tough and capable and proud, tells me that i have to pull myself back up and continue on with pride. despite all that pride i am saying, somehow somewhere deep in me has given up a little. ):
BUT in 2012, i have to start pulling myself up and strive hard for that damn certificate!! i can't wait to leave the exam journey behind. can't wait to get out of the exam stress. tho no one will know if i'll continue on the study path after my degree. even i don't know. but if you ask me right now, i am going to say i won't. haha
other than that, every other thing had been great last year. friends are still as close. except a few. and i've also learnt that i can't mend everything. i just gotta accept how things turns out and move on from it eventho it is a sad thing to watch when two close friends fall apart. hmm =/ happier note, i have amazing friends! and one thing, i am really happy that my friendship with them are still as close. they are my keepers for life. tho everyone are scattered around the globe, but once we are united back together, it is as tho we've never left. all the fun times are back to how it was. now, that's a lifetime friendship. =D
moving on to the family, everyone is healthy and we've got much closer together. which is such a blessing. spending the last couple of days of 2011 staying home and spending time together was one of the best things. despite seeing all the pictures of how i was suppose to spend new years eve with friends if i would have accepted the invitation, being home was where my heart was this year. one of the things i miss when i am in melbourne is my family gatherings. family gatherings are always a huge and fun thing and its all about food. new year's eve was spent with 18 bottles of hoegaarden, poker, satay, lamb chop, noodle and a whole lot of laughters. nothing beats having your family lighting up your house with so much laughters. what more could i have asked for?
and before i went to bed on the first morning of 2012, my phone rang with your name and picture on it. so yea the start of 2012 was pretty damn awesome for me. =D
my 2012 resolution:
- study harder. i really need to buck up!
- lose weight ((: every girl's resolution. hahahaha
- keep us going happily
2012, please be nice to me. so much will be happening this year. gold coast during easter. eventhough the tickets hasn't been purchased, but we are so going!! our 1st anni. my 21st. hong kong and macau trip. have i mention that i absolutely love hong kong? its my asia's NY. because it's by far the country i've been to that the city and lights are so beautiful! people's graduation. yao yun, cherly, loong, khai shien and teck wei. and my dear, lets go philip island for a weekend together! hahaha just saying. ((:
lots of love,
** this post was written on the 4th of january's super boring morning
i am not sure myself why i am deciding on scheduling this post to publish tonight. which is a day and a half later. hmmm....
anyways, i think i should be happily roaming the streets of taiwan and eating non stop right now. so much for my losing weight resolution hahah! =PP